While going through my negatives recently, I discovered the photo above. Is it just me, or does it really look like this?
Anyway, it made me think of something Henry Rollins once said:
"When I was 18, I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 25, I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. When I was 35, I wanted to fuck on the floor and break shit. Now I'm 40 and I wanna fuck on the floor and break shit."
Sometimes it's a good thing if I don't write a review right away. Some things need time. Some things only make sense when the time is right. When I first listened to Restless Rubes, I was like "uhm, well, ok". Today is March 1st. Today is the first real warm and sunny day of the year, and all of a sudden it all clicked, and it all made sense.
I guess Ninja Gun are punk kids at heart. They did split EPs with Fake Problems and the mighty Whiskey & Co., and their lyrics clearly show where they come from - but still, Restless Rubes is a pop record. And no, that's not a contradiction. I mean, come on... fucking London Calling is the prime example of a pop record made by punks. So there.
First of all, the production is superb. "Superb" in a major label, big budget kind of way, but without sounding too slick and polished. There is a certain depth and warmth to the sound that makes a whole lot of dirt shine through. And if you know me, you know how much I love dirt - or, in the words of Jason Jessee: "I like to fall on my face. I like to hurt myself. I like everything!" So what we have here is a pop album that might appeal to three old boys and aging ex-punks at the same time, and this is something that doesn't happen every day. When I still had a regular 9 to 5 day job, I would play Samiam and Sense Field all the time, because I fucking loved these bands (still do!) and nobody felt annoyed. Ninja Gun should be filed in the same category. Sure enough, this isn't a record to piss off frat boys and cops and co-workers, but what the fuck... this is 2010, and a Born Again$t t-shirt is not going to change the world.
Restless Rubes might not make it into any top 10 lists this year, it might not become anybody's favorite record, but if you seriously give it two or three chances, it's a rock solid album that you will find yourself coming back to. You might even dig it so much that you will save three copies from a sales CD bin as birthday presents. In the meantime, I will keep my fingers crossed that it actually does not end up in sales bins. It's simply too good for that.
Oh well... I admit it: guilty as charged. I have put off reviewing this little fucker for quite some time. Not because I don't like it, but because I wasn't quite sure what to make of it... I'm still not sure. But anyway, these are my thoughts:
1. It looks like shit. Seriously. The brown cover looks like a print job gone horribly wrong. Intentional? I have no clue. All I know is that even if I was a dedicated fan, I would never in my life pick this up in a record store, EVER.
2. Fist A Ferret must be one of the worst band names of all times. I'm sure that there is half way funny inside joke behind the name, but that doesn't make it any better. But then again, Hüsker Dü was a band name so incredibly bad... and who am I to complain?!
2a. Fist A Ferret even the score by calling their "label" (or whatever it is) Simmering Noise Productions. And if you know me, you'll know that two out of these three words mean a lot to me. I love noise. I would defend my 'hood to my last breath. Simmering rules, 1110 for life. There, I said it.
3. Whoah, nice sample! If you're not from Austria, you probably have no clue who Dagmar Koller is... but if you are, you will fucking appreciate this timeless and immortal quote!
4. I do like the music actually. Fast, fast, fast, no bullshit, violent hardcore. Dual vocals. Makes me think of Infest at times, a little bit of Spazz, some random 625 and Slap-A-Ham stuff, early Napalm Death and Unseen Terror, and damn, there's even some From Ashes Rise guitar lines thrown in the mix. On hyper speed, of course.
5. Slaves To The Grind is another REALLY BAD band name.
5a. Fuck them! Their name sounds like a Skid Row record (plus one letter), and they don't even sound like Skid Row.
5b. No, wait a second... I'll take that back. They made me wanna listen to cock rock again, so no "fuck them". Cool? Cool.
6. Do yourself a favor... never EVER look at their band photos. Their drummer is a fucking hippie, in a crust punk way. And like the lyrics to Saint Vitus' "Clear Windowpane", he's probably got "things living in his hair". Yikes.
7. Slaves To The Grind only know two speeds: fast and faster. Even though "playing a solid groove at 190 bpm can not be considered fast in 2009, BOLLOCK!" ... well, you know... sorry to say that, but I've heard it all before.
8. Now don't get me wrong - this is not a bad record. And these bands are probably the bomb at 3 AM in a squat basement... it's just that I don't go to 3 AM shows in squat basements anymore.
9. From a purely economic point of view, 12 songs on 7 inches are a pretty good deal... if the Bleeaauurrggh compilations never happened!
10. Oh, fuck it. Buy this record! If you're a young punk, it might just change your life. If you're old jaded like me, it might remind you of your glory days when Terrorizer was all the rage.
All the way back in 1992, I bought a record. That record sucked so bad it was hard to believe. Eighteen years later, I can listen to it on an occassional basis without the urge to pierce my eardrums. I was a young snotty punk in 1992. In 2010, I am an old man. Old men sometimes sit on their couches with coffee and listen to boring records. This is how we do. But old men also get records in the mail, and don't buy a lot of stuff anymore - at least not because someone told them that there's this "masterpiece" out there. I have heard it all before. And here's a promise: I will never ever buy another Melvins record. I bought "Lysol" in 1992 because fucking Kurt Cobain said they were his favorite band, and that this record sounded like side B of "My War", and what I got for my hard earned cash was a shit sandwich on vinyl, and the deep conviction that the fucking Melvins are one of the most overrated bands of all times, right after the Beatles.
Eighteen years later, I find a record in my mail box that makes "Lysol" seem to be the masterpiece I was told it'd be.
Kodiak are from Germany. And shit, their "song" is just like the German Autobahn: long and boring. It takes them a good ten minutes to even find their drums in the studio, while someone puts a poor excuse for a piano sample over it, trying to be Varg Vikernes. Listen, Kai-Uwe, you can put your pedal to the metal on the Autobahn, and speed up things, race past the other BMWs. Why the fuck would you stay in the first lane, and drive your Volkswagen at the speed of a turtle? But oh, behold! Things just got even worse...
Nadja isn't even a band name. It's the name of an Eastern European prostitute. But damn, Polish hookers are probably a lot more fun than this band. Is it even a band? Or just one socially handicapped dude? Call me ignorant, but this is garbage. It's just white noise. Nothing ever happens here at all. And to put things like "recorded / composed / performed live in the studio blahblah" on your cover doesn't make it art, it just makes you look even more like the arrogant asshole that you are.
I never thought that I would say this in public, but records like this one make me want to listen to bullshit like the Locust. Or even the entire Bob Dylan discography. And that, my friends, is a form of torture that's probably outlawed in most civilized countries. Except Germany.
"Victim In Pain by Agnostic Front is one of my favorite records of all time, it's classical music. If you don't know this album I highly recommend that you get familiar with it. Don't be scared away by the misleading artwork, although that's part of the album's "Power" (title of a song on VIP) AF's music fights against fascism and the attitudes of fascists ("Fascist Attitudes")
I think cavemen would have liked Victim In Pain better than anything Mozart ever came up with, or the Beatles. If you had to get psyched up to kill a Wooly Mammoth, would you listen to The Beatles with Sgt. Pepper on french horn or Victim In Pain with Vinny Stigma on lead? I can almost hear the cave men screaming (if they had developed language) STIGMA!!!
It's timeless music, post apocalypse Mad Max people will be rocking to it in a thousand years. Do you think anyone is gonna give a shit about The Shins when you could be raped, lit on fire, dragged by a motorcycle and killed for a liter of gas (which kind of defeats the purpose)? Shit, Apes from Planet Of The Apes would love AF, though the Chimps and Orangutans maybe not as much.
Anyhoo, it's not a music competition, I like The Shins and there is a place for them too but I think that Victim In Pain is more important and unique in the evolution of music, art, mankind, that it goes beyond indie rock and steps into Smithsonian Institute territory.
For that reason I covered AF's "Society Suckers" from Victim In Pain. My version doesn't approach the aggressive power of the original but I had fun interpreting it, an homage. I think of it as classic folk song like "This Land Is Your Land", I wish Woody Guthrie would do a version in the time/space continuum."
Well, I think it's safe to say that your attention span is probably that of an amoeba if you are browsing tEh intOrwebz for bands and music reviews, so I'll keep it short for you: this is country music played by punks. From Gainesville, Florida. Two people from Whiskey & Co. also play in The Takers. And it's a great fucking record. Now go out and buy this. Thank you. You can now close your browser window.
(End transmission.)
But if you like to read more, be my guest. I was stoked when this album arrived here. Country music, punks, Florida, drinking songs, how could I go wrong? The answer is easy: if you like traditional music, this should be on your shopping list. The early 1970s saw the rise of a movement called "outlaw country", taken from a Waylon Jennings song. In retrospect it's kind of funny to think about Waylon Jennings or even Willie Nelson as outlaws, when there's people like Hank Williams III or even David Allen Coe taking things much, much further in every aspect. But hey, then again... the Sex Pistols were once called "punk", and look at them now. So there.
So in that sense, yes, The Takers are outlaws: the nice kind of outlaws, with "one hand on the bottle, one foot in the grave." They are punks. Their brand of country is PUNK without a doubt, even though it doesn't sound like it. Your dad might like it. What makes it punk is that they take a genre of music that's traditionally reactionary and conversative, even unabashedly racist and nationalist at times, and put it back where it belongs: in the hands of the people. There is no ambition for stardom, for radio play, for money and groupies, it's just about putting feelings in a song. It's about fucking up and losing, being honest about it, and still flipping the bird to the man and the bosses. In my book, this is much more punk than clean cut white middle class straight edge kids talking about a "crew" or whatever. This is real music by real people. This is a great record. www.suburbanhomerecords.com
While going through my negatives recently, I discovered the photo above. Is it just me, or does it really look like this?
Sometimes it's a good thing if I don't write a review right away. Some things need time. Some things only make sense when the time is right. When I first listened to Restless Rubes, I was like "uhm, well, ok". Today is March 1st. Today is the first real warm and sunny day of the year, and all of a sudden it all clicked, and it all made sense.
Oh well... I admit it: guilty as charged. I have put off reviewing this little fucker for quite some time. Not because I don't like it, but because I wasn't quite sure what to make of it... I'm still not sure. But anyway, these are my thoughts:
All the way back in 1992, I bought a record. That record sucked so bad it was hard to believe. Eighteen years later, I can listen to it on an occassional basis without the urge to pierce my eardrums. I was a young snotty punk in 1992. In 2010, I am an old man. Old men sometimes sit on their couches with coffee and listen to boring records. This is how we do. But old men also get records in the mail, and don't buy a lot of stuff anymore - at least not because someone told them that there's this "masterpiece" out there. I have heard it all before. And here's a promise: I will never ever buy another Melvins record. I bought "Lysol" in 1992 because fucking Kurt Cobain said they were his favorite band, and that this record sounded like side B of "My War", and what I got for my hard earned cash was a shit sandwich on vinyl, and the deep conviction that the fucking Melvins are one of the most overrated bands of all times, right after the Beatles.
Well, I think it's safe to say that your attention span is probably that of an amoeba if you are browsing tEh intOrwebz for bands and music reviews, so I'll keep it short for you: this is country music played by punks. From Gainesville, Florida. Two people from Whiskey & Co. also play in The Takers. And it's a great fucking record. Now go out and buy this. Thank you. You can now close your browser window.
