March 26, 2010

Unveiling the wicked (like the title of that Exciter record)

A few days ago, the Side One Dummy website read that the artwork for the new Gaslight Anthem album had been "unveiled", and I was already skeptical. Unveiled?! What the fuck? A long lost Van Gogh painting? Or even a new Banksy piece? Either way, I figured, it must be special...

And yes, it is special indeed. "Special" in a Special Olympics way.


All right, I am the first to admit that the artwork for The '59 Sound was one giant step forward from the visual atrocity known as Sink Or Swim. And let's not forget that Señor and the Queen looks fucking awesome... (That said, please check out www.giantsquidletterpress.com for a lot of really amazing letterpress artwork!) So well, yes, this band had developed a really strong visual identity over the years, one that even I could enjoy.

But let's be honest, the new cover... ouch! I actually like the idea, but that's where it ends. Maybe the only good thing I can say about it is that it was quite smart to use the same typeface as on '59 again. What totally ruins it is that white border around everything... it looks like some World of Warcraft playing douchebag from the Gaslight Anthem's bible group came up with the concept of making the record look "used" and "old", but one Photoshop lesson after sunday school just wasn't enough to pull it off. Seriously, it's looking putting this picture on top of that cover. Why not poop on it?

(Please excuse me for a moment... must... empty... stomach...)

On with the sweetness, baby! The album title in that black box on the bottom corner... what's that? Did you forget to add it in your 72 DPI preview file? I am not even mentioning the arrangement of the photos here. It wouldn't take any amputee who has to click the mouse with his toes longer than let's say ten minutes to crop them properly!

But the cream of the crap (oops, crop, I mean...) is the knuckle duster right under the label logo. I am not even blaming the graphic "designer" here, maybe it was just a smart business move. "Dude, well, you know, dude, we need to expand our target audience... let's not forget our old fans. You know, dude, that chick in Poophole, Ohio, was all over me... I want her to buy the record at Hot Topic!" NO! NO! NO! What's next then? Girlie shirts in XS that are flexible enough to fit a whale if stretched properly?

Dear whoever-did-this-cover, I would love to meet you and shake your hand. You must be a fucking genius. Not when it comes to graphic design, sorry, but I'm sure you got a big bag full of money to commit offense to all my sensiblities, and that makes you one hell of a business man. Oh, and by the way, you owe me a meal. The one I had today wouldn't remain in my belly.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who the fuck are you?
your blog sucks a bag of dicks.
bloggers in general are the scum of the earth.
get a life and a job.

Anonymous said...

ohhh and waaah i dont want anyone leaving negative comments on my shit blog.
douche.